And the magic number is...

Goals are good.

Deadlines are better—well, at least for me.

It’s not that I can’t motivate myself to do things on the slow and steady, but there is nothing like a looming deadline to really bring out the manic work habits in me. Admittedly, I work just fine without deadlines, but boy-howdy, there is something about that ticking clock that lights a fire under me.

Last year I learned how to fold origami cranes. It was kind of fun. It took just enough concentration that I had to pay attention, but not so much that I couldn’t think about things like plot holes. I decided to start folding a thousand, I could always quit later. I figured out how many I’d have to fold a day and all of it.

I learned that deadlines in a distant, nebulous future always lose to deadlines breathing down my neck (didn’t fold many cranes while packing my house). Deadlines with a tangible product as you work closer are very satisfying (that’s a lot of cranes, boxes and boxes).

And then, I realized how many I needed to fold before I got to the end of the year. It was enough to be daunting, but not so many to be impossible. I spent more time folding than I meant to, but then I reached The End. Just like writing a novel, I hung up my last crane and rattled around the house wondering what I was supposed to do with my time.

Basically, it feels just like writing The End on a book (I did that recently too, but you know me, that novel just went to the data version of a trunk to think about what it did). So now I’m in that place where I have that “Yay, I finished… what next?” feeling that permeates the time between projects.

 How do you handle that time? Mostly, I’ve been watching TV and trying not to eat all the chocolate.

Warped Perspective: An IWSG Post

Insecure writer’s support group is the brainchild of Ninja Captain Alex. I recommend that you go visit him at his blog, and then sign up on the linky or visit the IWSG website. Good stuff. This month's cohosts are Tina Downey, Elsie, Elizabeth Seckman, and Julie Flanders.

Today isn’t so much an insecurity as a cautionary story about perspective, and this one might frighten you.

There’s a little house not far from where I grew up. It’s a small house, quaint and set in some of the most beautiful land on earth. Every year, daffodils bloom in the yard despite no one watering it for decades. The bushes grow, bloom and go dormant. Every year, the world ticks by, but that house, that hundred-year-old house waits for something to change. In that house lives a person whose dreams have been crushed. The great wheel of publishing has destroyed her spirit. She is broken.

She is a writer.

No, that’s unfair. To be a writer, you have to write. She was a writer, and once upon a time, she wrote a novel.

Once upon a time was twenty years ago, and twenty years ago, she queried that novel. Today, she keeps a copy of that novel and the query letter on her desk. From what I could cobble together from the broken remains, she queried for a while before deciding to self publish.

Now, as many of you know, self publishing is not the vanity insanity it used to be, but she was sucked up by the biggest of them all. She was taken for a ride. She bought the biggest package, with the biggest advertising. She spent many thousands of dollars.

Twenty years later, she still has boxes and boxes of her novel with a paid-for blurb on the cover and boxes of promotional gear (bookmarks, and postcards, mostly, but hundreds of them, never seen by her target audience).

My guess is that she sold copies to her friends and family. Twenty years ago, it was hard to reach an audience. But she got hung up on that one novel. She got stuck there, and for the last twenty years she hasn’t written a thing.

I opened the book and found typos on the first page.

This woman scares me. She is like that crazy funhouse mirror for me, except I see myself in the future, not warped and lumpy in the present. I have my ideas and my dreams and my stubbornness, but she was destroyed by something she could not control: and she could never move on, surrounded by her unsold copies of a book riddled with typos.

I have, on more than one occasion, said that there is a particular novel that I have every intention of self publishing should more traditional routes not work out. This would be the red flag everyone says means that I’m not right for self publishing, that I’m just a jaded writer, too stupid to see that my work is flawed. I understand why people say that, but there’s a reason that so many people try traditional publishing before going with self publishing. It doesn’t always make for jaded crazy writers, and truthfully, if you’re on the fence between the two venues, trying to go traditional makes sense because you don’t screw up your chances at self pubbing if things don’t work out. If you self pub first, however, you can kiss traditional publishing good bye. This is just an issue of practicality, unless you let yourself become one of those jaded writers. To succeed in publishing, you must first accept the possibility of failure.

I can accept that. Hell, I should be the president of fail club.

It is completely possible that, as I’ve noted before, I’m untalented and unaware. It wouldn’t be the first time. But I think the real reason people talk about not self publishing when you’ve failed to publish traditionally is that everyone is thinking about the cautionary tale in the quiet house. One book, thousands of dollars and a handful of sales. Much of which could have been avoided if someone had just pointed out some typos.

When I say that I want to pursue traditional publishing first, it’s not an either or scenario. I think that traditional publishing has a lot to offer. I think that self publishing has a lot to offer as well (Like I’d get to design my cover!!! I know that scares some people, but I did some time as a graphic artist—paid even!). Clearly, selfpubbing didn’t offer much to writer in Quiet House. That trip into self publishing killed her dream. She couldn’t get published through a traditional publisher, didn’t do her research, and had her coffers drained. She got stuck in the moment, convinced that everyone would see her genius once her words were published.

This is a sticky situation because there are lots of self pubbed novels where the writer tried to go the traditional route, got stymied due to strength of pages (or lack thereof), and THEN had the rug yanked out when the rest of the world told them the same thing. Ouch.

Let’s be frank, I have no such delusions (I can barely manage to sustain delusions of mediocrity let alone grandeur!). People aren’t going to read my work to be wooed into the beauty and poise of my words (heh, I used the word poise like I owned it!). When the time comes, people will read my work for the explosions, the laughs, and probably the chase scenes. There might be some other bits that spark interest here or there, but I’m not holding my breath. Awards? Hell, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want them (I still blush when I get blog awards, people), but I’m old enough to know that they sent two thousand athletes to the Olympics, and they only handed out 98 medals. And by publishing standards those are really great odds.

What broke the writer who lives in the quiet house is a lack of perspective. She bought into the machine that raises hopes. They told her that her work would sell thousands of copies. They told her she’d need a small fortune just to have her fan mail read. They skewed her perspective. They built her up. They told her that her work would rival the greats. The blurb even compared her novel to great literary classics.

When my book is published (because seriously, if I know one thing, I can out stubborn a mule), I know that it’s possible I’ll sell a few handfuls. Even if I make a “big publisher” it’s always possible that the book will sell so poorly that a few handfuls would be considered a generous accounting.

That’s why writers must never stop the one, fundamental thing that makes us writers: we write.

If you self pub, and your heart is broken, there are pen names. If you traditionally pub and you get dropped, well, there’s a way to recover from that too. If you’re just starting out, railing against how long it takes to hear back on a query, I got news for you: publishers take longer than agents, so get your waiting boots shined up.

There are lots of reasons to be frustrated in this journey, but there is only one way to be a writer today: write.

What I should be doing

As a writer, there are things that people love to tell us to do. I think this partly stems from one of two ideas: writing is easy, and writers are robots, methodically turning out words in perfect order (ha! I just had to wipe away a tear that made me laugh so hard). I’m only seeing this side of it so much because my family can’t quite pick up on the idea that I finished a novel and it wasn’t published the next day (or week or year), and why do I need to start writing another one. While I do devote many hours to writing, often missing sleep, or skipping tv shows or even time in the hot tub, I am not a machine.

In fact, I’m pretty human with all the silly problems that come with being human. Yes, I’d love to be able to work at a 6K a day pace, or revise faster than I draft, or—for the sweet love of chocolate—give a polish read that is faster than 15 pages a day (I shake my fists at thee, oh great slower of my productivity).

So what I should be doing? I should be writing. It’s what we should all be doing.

What have I been doing? Well, I’ve been writing. I’ve also been obsessively checking twitter and query tracker and watching some of my favorite tv shows (how did I go so long without knowing about Idol!!!!). I’m dancing. I’m practicing dancing. I’m drooling over shoes for dancing. And I’m going to tumblr. Then, after being well marinated in procrastination, I write. Sometimes the writing goes well, sometimes it’s crap. Sometimes I land 6K in a day, and sometimes I’m pleased with six words (okay, reality check: I’m never, EVER, pleased with six words. I find that sort of pace torturously slow, and I have no patience for it. Those writers who do and can? Saints, pure and simple, and I’m not a saint).

What are your thoughts? Do you procrastinate much? Do you obsessively follow something that if you could give it up, you’d suddenly have a bazillion more hours in the day to do everything else (you know, like fold laundry and write books?).

Writer links and stuff you should be following

I've been researching agents and publishing for a long time. I'm not saying that to brag (I mean, really, it would be bragging to say "I tripped over this awesome agent and contract without knowing anything!" but that hasn't been my path). When I first started out, I didn't really think I had a chance, so I really did everything by the seat of my pants. I queried the first agent who came up in my google search for a literary agent.

No really. I'm lucky that it was an agent who popped up on my list, but it could have just as easily been a scammer. After sacrificing that novel on the altar of naivety, I got wise and started doing my research. I realize that many people already know about these resources, but I never know when someone is going to stumble across my blog. So if you're looking for information on agents and some bits of publishing, check out these links.

Shipping & Handling, a podcast by two agents. You can download their episodes here. Why do I think it's important? These two agents (Bridget Smith and Jennifer Udden) talk about books, publishing and craft. You can send in questions, and they might just answer those questions. I love that they talk about what they love about books, and it really gives us writers a glimpse into the agenting world.

Query Tracker is one of those great places where writers can comment on agents. It's not as good as some places with an iron clad moderation, but with a bit of common sense, you can probably figure out which agents have trouble. Admittedly, some times a writer is bitter and the comments go south fast. I suggest that you use your discretion when posting and believing others on open forums.

Michelle Hauck runs a set of interviews called query questions where she asks agents about some of the most commonly fretted over issues in querying. I find these interviews particularly useful because she straight up asks them about the questions that every writer has gone insane over.

Krista Van Dolzer has a whole slew of agent interviews, but these ones you should be careful with. Some of the interviews are pretty dated. They make an excellent starting point, but in some cases, the agents have moved or left the business. Be careful and always do a separate search on agents to find where they are now!

I feel like I can't have a link post without mentioning Absolute Write. I like absolute write, but in the comments on agents section, there tends to be a lot of meanies and trolls. I don't really know why, but the trolls are particularly vigorous around the agent threads. In other parts of Absolute Write, the writers are really great and super supportive--some of my favorite forums!--but like any city, there are parts of town that you should carry a flashlight when you go into.

And lastly, you should always check Preditors and Editors. Some of their stuff might not be up to date with the newer agents, but the newer agents should be from agencies listed and rated at P&E.

I think I'm going to call it there. There are tons and tons of resources, but those are a great set to get a writer started. Feel free to leave your favorites in the comments (yes, even you totally published and successful people of awesome!).

Care to dance? (hint, the answer is always YES!)

 

So I’ve been learning to dance with my Mom (you know the woman who has read every book in the store—okay, not anymore, but for a long time sci fi and fantasy didn’t produce enough books for her reading enjoyment, so she read out the mystery section as well). She’s been dancing for a while and I’m the n00b. And it’s a blast. The first two weeks were pretty nerve wracking, but after I started to know people’s names, and it’s been a blast.

Whenever you first learn something, you’re just in a panic. For me, that panic was trying to decode what the leaders were trying to tell me to do. The biggest problem when you start out is that if you have any sense of rhythm, people assume you know how to dance, so they try their moves on you. For many people, this was a disaster. I just didn’t know the language.

But for some leaders, they could just spin me out and do a whip and—by pure magic—I followed! I mean they were doing things I just didn’t know how to do, but the cues they gave were so perfect that there was nothing other than the right move as an option.

As you can imagine, this was confusing that sometimes dancing was easy (and awesome!), and sometimes I was completely toe tied. After a few more lessons, I was able to figure more of it out and do more with the leads that weren’t as obvious (note, I didn’t say as good, I said not as obvious). That’s when it hit me that dancing is like writing. Ever read that book where you thought you understood it, but there was doubt? Yeah, that was a book that either you didn’t come to it with the right background, or the writer didn’t give you a good enough lead to follow them through the story.

Oh, and the other rule of dancing: It’s the leader’s fault. Something goes wrong? Leader’s fault. Miss a turn? Yeah, the leader didn’t lead it right. (hint, if you’re the writer, you’re the leader: it’s your fault when the reader doesn’t follow you)

In some styles of dance, the lead is in close contact the whole time. The contact is so constant and close, that the follower has no option but to do as directed by the leader (it is a partnership and they wouldn’t want to do anything else anyways). In other dances, the lead is with a couple of fingers, and that’s because everything is so fast that anymore contact would get in the way.

And that’s where the trouble comes. I definitely write like a two fingered lead. I’ve always known this, but there are moments in the dance where I could pause, and my followers (the readers) could catch a breath and know they were on steady ground before spinning off into the action.

What are your thoughts on letting the reader catch their breath?

IWSG How did I end up with the cliche insecurity?

Insecure Writer's Support Group is a blog hop brought into the world by the Amazing Ninja Captain, AKA Alex Cavanaugh. If you haven't heard of IWSG, then check out Alex's blog before hopping on Mr. Linky and taking a spin through the insecurities of writers. This month Alex has some Ninja lieutenants helping him out, Sheena-kay Graham, Julie Musil, Jamie Ayres, and Mike Swift, so be sure to give them a wave and a smile.

So what's been eating me? You know, the usual. I'm always worried that I won't "make it." Yeah, you heard me, I even put it in tacky quotes. I feel like it's the stupidest insecurity to have. It's not very original for starters (I mean really, what if my secret insecurity was that I was really afraid of an alien invasion like that one in my dreams where the aliens would take over people, but you couldn't tell until they spoke and a single bell tone came out of their mouth before they exploded, sometimes killing people in the blast radius--now that would be an awesome insecurity). But everyone wallows in the "What if I never make it?" doldrums. It's right up there with runners complaining about big thighs and blisters on their feet.

And worse, it's completely illogical. I've already set the phasers to kill, I'm not stopping short of "getting there" (wherever that is). It's not like I'm afraid of failure. I've already been to the top of Ruined Dreams Hill (the view isn't as spectacular as you'd hope, but it's good for getting your bearings). For All that Is Chocolate, I built a log cabin up there and spent the better part of a year being an idiot, so by all rights, it's sort of comfortable up there in Delusions of Adequacy land. So if I'm so comfortable with my ability to fail, and I've already laid out the plan and promised myself that this is the dream where I get to be stubborn like a llama*, then why am I worried about never reaching my writing goals?

No amount of No is going to stop me. So why?

It's an odd trait of the human condition, but no matter how determined and how much grit, even the strongest, bravest, and most stubborn of us all would like to know that our work will pay off. And let's face it, writers have a ton of writing they have to do before any pay off. It's hard to have faith as a writer when all the doors say no, so here it is, here's how we are going to make our writer goals come true. You ready?

If you are just starting out: give yourself a pat on the back. Every journey begins with a single step, but if you never start, you will never finish. I know well over a hundred people who have told me that they are going to write a novel but never have. So good job, you've started. Now, get back to writing.

If you've finished your first novel: Congratulations! That's hard (and I'm not being patronizing, that is hard, like pull your hair out hard). Give yourself a well deserved toast. Now, get back to writing.

If you've signed with an agent/your dream publisher/released your book through Flavor of the Month Indie Publisher: Super Congratulations! Those are major milestones! There are heaps and heaps of people who didn't make it this far. Fear held them back, or maybe some other insecurity (those aliens, I tell you!) kept them from The End, but not you. And you've hit some big time publishing goals. Awesome! Now, get back to writing.

Because making it is really about sticking it out. If you refuse to stop writing, strive to learn your craft, and keep moving forward, your writing goals will come true. That's the formula: Write, Craft, Learn, Revise, Repeat as necessary. It's simple, but hard (hint: most good advice is simple but hard).



*About llamas and stubborn. People always associate donkeys or mules with stubbornness, but let me be the first to tell you that llamas are smart, and they don't mind telling you when you're wrong. They do not change this opinion, and when you are spectacularly wrong, they go on strike by folding up their legs and sitting on the ground. When you argue, they spit in your face, and that spit, well, it's more like spit up if you catch my drift. If you don't catch my drift I might have to make another post from those years on the farm. 

Time for a Twitter PSA

Okay people, I have a confession. I am a bad twitter person.

This isn't because I'm bad at tweeting, no, not at all.

I have never--not once!--ever bought something that someone tweeted about. Not once. Not ever. And this is NEVER going to CHANGE. So all you people tweeting two times an hour seven days a week? I consider you spam. Have nothing on your twitter feed but promotion and "I got a four star review on amazon," quite frankly, I don't care.

So when someone on twitter follows me, I click to their full profile and check out their last ten tweets. If more than one of the last ten tweets is a promotion for their book (and none of the other ones are OMG, MY BOOK JUST CAME OUT! because seriously, people get to be crazy when their book releases) then I don't follow back.

Yeah, I know, this sort of means I'm an evil witch, but really, I'm old enough to know what my time is worth.

When I sign on to twitter, I'm not interested in having advertisements thrown in my face. I use twitter to check in with my friends, see what's going on in NYC (because most of the people I follow are agents and editors in New York... with some notable exceptions in California, Colorado and Minnesota), and maybe catch some awesome pictures of the planet from Chris Hadfield. If I have to wade through a hundred tweets about four star reviews and BUY MY BOOK!!!!! this makes me a little cranky. It's inefficient. It makes Twitter not do the one thing that Twitter does really well: Twitter lets me interact with people very far away. When my feed is full of spam, I don't stay. It's not interesting.

So I've stopped following people back. And thus has begun the dreaded follow/unfollow/follow.

People, I am here to tell you that if you seem decent, and are a writer and your last ten tweets were not about your book, then I'll almost always follow back. But if you are a spam bot, and you never link to content, only buy buttons, then I'm not interested, and no amount of follow/unfollow/follow will catch my attention. Ever. I saw you the first time. And the tenth time. If I haven't followed back by the end of the week, it ain't happening. And you know why? It's because Twitter is not free advertising. It never was. You have to build a following or else you're just a spam bot. You build a following by posting content, being interesting and above all else: INTERACTING. That's what Twitter is there for. 

Sure, I don't tweet often, and most of it is about contest and writing, but that's where I am right now. I try to interact with people (like agents and editors and other authors), but mostly on twitter, I don't have a lot to say, so I spend my time watching. That means I know. Spam is spam. On Twitter, in email, if you spam, I will delete you. I'm tired of it.

And before people go crazy about needing to promote their books, here is the truth: I don't buy books from spam bots. I buy the books that my friends (you know, the people I interact with on Twitter) tell me are amazing. But I don't trust them if they haven't put out enough content for me to judge their character. I mean really, if all people ever did was spam the feed then how would I know if their recommendation of The Bridges of Madison County would mesh with my Pacific Rim loving personality? Twitter is a great way to figure that out, and if you're just spamming, no one can ever learn that from you. And trust me, if you just released a Bridges of Madison County and billed it as a must read for my Pacific Rim loving soul and I "fall for it"? You just got one sale. But I'm going to trash your book because you pitched it as Pacific Rim and it was Bridges of Madison County. I'm going to tell everyone--EVERYONE. And I know a lot of people despite my twitter numbers. In short, if you lead me in with false advertising, you're not doing yourself any favors.

So tweet, follow, do whatever it is that you want, just don't feel like I'm obliged to follow you to "boost" my numbers. I mean seriously, have you seen my numbers? I follow a ton of people and literally have half the number of followers (George Takei hasn't followed me back! My life is now in ruins!), I'm not that worried, because honestly, one real follower who actually listens and isn't a spam bot is worth twenty spam bots. Think about it.