I strive for consistency, but I fail.
I spent weeks gearing up to start revision, and nothing. It’s
not writer’s block (something that I don’t really believe in; I mean really? No
one ever talks about Sculpter’s block, so why should writers be special like
that?). But it was less productive. There were things that I dreaded, so I didn’t
start. Once I started, I moved at a slogging, tummy-turning speed. That first
day I called myself awesome for making 200 words (go wonder writer!).
The next day it was another 300 words that got me the pat on
the back.
Then I turned out 3000 new words, just
like that. And since then, I’ve been flying. Of course, it’s a revision, so not
everything needed to be rewritten from scratch, but the first 10,000 words are
brand spanking new. This is pretty typical for me. Super slow, then super fast.
Getting started was the hardest part. For the beginning, I
felt like I’d never get going. I felt like there was no reason to get started.
It was like the very idea of working on the project was stupid. I have a Shiny
New Idea, surely I should be developing that into a novel instead of wasting my
time revising. Does any of this sound familiar? I’m neurotic enough that I know
I’ve talked about this before, but sometimes I feel like we have these ideas
about how writing should work.
When I draft, I have an idea of how much I should be able to
write in a week, a quota if you will. But how I get to those words is a jumble
of sprints and flares of note taking, punctuated by long hours of not getting
stuff done, doing laundry, and doing the day job. I wish I could say that I
really have the discipline to just sit and work, but I don’t. I work hard, and then
I don’t. I have stretches of incredible productivity followed by absolutely
nothing.
I’ve come to accept this about myself because if you set
goals for yourself that you can’t (or don’t) reach, something happens. You get
down on yourself, and then it’s harder to make any goals. I know people talk
about having a daily quota. I can’t do that, I have to have weekly goals so my
goals are flexible enough for me to get lost cleaning out closets or grading
exams without going through the I’m-not-getting-work-done crazies.
What works for you, slow and steady wins the race? Or do you
take off like the rabbit only to find yourself napping at the end? I always
thought it was funny story since they both ended up at the finish line at about
the same time…
