I haven't been blogging as much as I like.
I haven't been sleeping as much as I like.
Let me be clear on this point as well: I haven't been writing as much as I like.
My life feels like it exploded. I'm half moved into a house that's half done (and 3/4 left to do!). I'm working overtime at the day job because construction is expensive.
I've passed the end of the rope. Last week I averaged 5 hours of sleep a night for the whole week. This is not Rena at her best.
I start making poor choices. Things seem bigger than they are. I react more.
I react.
In short, I'd be a terrible character in a novel.
So I unpack a box. I fix a hole in the wall. We replaced a broken window. One foot in front of the other. A blog post here. A short story there. Life will return.
There's a saying that I sums up the determination to keep moving forward when I'm overwhelmed and can barely function in the reality of my own life: If you have to walk through Hell, why would you drag your heels while you're there?
So I unpack another box. Grout more tile (more??? And we're not DONE YET???). Hey Rena, is that cement in your hair?
Don't judge me.
Also, that grout has sparkling glass pieces in it. That's not cement, it's jewelry (also, it's the stain proof grout, so that's not coming out without bleach).
Ah, 5 hours a night??? You're doing better than I would be on so little sleep. Soon, your house will look lovely, it'll all be finished, and you'll be able to sit down in a gorgeous room and write. And maybe a trip to the hairdresser, to remove the cement ;-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes life is more important than words. I'm kinda there myself... But I hope to be back at the computer someday...
ReplyDeletegod tiling is the worst.
ReplyDeleteAnd that totally sucks about the sleep.
The rest of it, though, will pass. My favorite saying for situations like this is: there's no way out but through.
Keep pushing. The end will come.
I'm right there with you, though in a more mental way. I'm two weeks into training at my new job, and it feels like one of those telepathic data dumps we had in gaming way back when, only it's going to last five weeks instead of a second or two. >_< Mental fatigue is hitting me hard, and I too am not at my best.
ReplyDeleteHope DragonCon provides you with some time to sleep more and recover a little, maybe a lot. ^_^