The funny thing about the impostor syndrome in writing is
that we often forget that it breeds itself and proliferates.
At my day job recently, I was nominated to help our Union
(Join the union, pay the dues, unless you aren’t into things like sick leave,
40 hour work weeks, health insurance, vacation). So I have to go to the
employer who will surely be bringing a lawyer to the table.
A lawyer.
Why am I intimidated by a lawyer?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. For some reason,
lawyers have always had a place in my mind as the pinnacle of modern
professionals. They dress nice (I have nice clothes, too). They have a fancy
degree (I’ve got one of those, too). And they have confidence (uhmmm…).
To be frank, I have considerably more education than
required to be a lawyer (I have more education than is required to be a
surgeon), so it’s not their intelligence. So why do I feel like a complete
fraud going to talk to them?
Part of it is that I have always viewed myself as the
underdog. I have never come into a situation and thought for sure I would win a
fight. I didn’t feel adult enough to buy my first home (or my second, to be
honest). I feel like most people got off the train when they were younger and
started believing in themselves as adults long ago, and I somehow missed the
stop—honestly I was probably playing D&D at the time. In fact, I’m sort of
terrified that someone will show up with a clip board and say “Rena, you enjoy
things too much to be on this Very Serious Panel That Discusses Very Serious
Things. Go home, impostor.”
So here I am, a little shocked to find that everyone at
every level experiences some impostor syndrome. And for me, my impostor
syndrome is tied to me feeling like an outsider. I have never fit in, and I’m
not going to start now just because the other side of the table has lawyers.
Sorry you're feeling intimidated by the thought of a lawyer at the table. Full disclosure, I'm a lawyer. The lawyer's presence isn't necessarily to be confrontational in any way. Although the nature of your meeting wasn't specified, if there was an actual legal controversy, I would expect the union's lawyer to be present, as well. Employment issues usually involve both state and federal law, contract interpretation, any number of legal rammifications for particular situations. Often the attorney is simply there to answer questions and advise the client. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteJust act like a jerk at these meetings and you'll probably fit right in. :) I know what you mean, though. I'm tutoring chemistry right now to high schoolers and college freshman, but even though I've taught chemistry on the college level, I still sometimes wonder if I'm good enough to be a real tutor.
ReplyDeleteI've been the union spokesperson for our company for years. Don't let that lawyer get to you! You are smarter than he is I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteDr Itua email: drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com and whatsapp nUmber +2348149277967 Dr Itua herbal medicines cure my herpes and hepatitis completely and it has been 3 years now there has been no outbreak, I'm so happy that I'm finally cured.
ReplyDeleteDr Itua can cure the following diseases; Herpes, Hiv, Copd, Diabetes, Parkinson, Hepatitis, Cancer, Lymes, Dr Itua Herbal Store www.drituaherbalcenter.com is very safe to use.